weekend_warrior

Keep going!

Spectacular. I have little to add on this story so far. You do an excellent job of describing the surroundings and providing motives for Alyssa.

I can accept your criticism as far as the Forgotten Realms world goes. Elminster could be construed as a mary sue of Ed Greenwood. However, Cormyr 1765 is written during ...

I like it. I might add some more description around the dialogue; it would help it flow better.

Well done. I would lengthen the dialogue descriptors however, adding more between the lines.

I would introduce the names of the characters sooner in prologue. Even if they are minor characters, I would give the detectives names.