weekend_warrior

Let me preface my review by indicating that I am currently serving in the United States Army in the middle east (can't say exactly where). I enjoyed reading your piece. ...

Very Interesting. Feedback Questions: 1. Do you think it's to short/quick? 2. What do you think of the description? Do I need more? 3. Would you read chapter 1 when ...

A Good start, I can tell you have the story planned within your head, and your grasp of the overall storyboard is good. However, I would work on the delivery. ...

A capital start. I like how you used “lest I claim you in sport.” Good wording for the time period you are trying to write in. I would describe Seridon ...

I have served in the US Army for almost four years now and I would like to offer some constructive criticsm that will make your story more realistic. Unfortunately, I ...

I like your story concept about duty and honor, as well as your decision to convey the sorrow of leaving home with the military. Allow me to point out a ...

I agree that the gun would be an equalizer. However, there are two sides to this: On one hand, you could give the character some very special powers. The risk ...

He had no time to think though as his opponent thrust his sabre at him once more. I think it is unnecessary to include the word 'though' in here. Removing ...

Among the hundreds of identically dressed soldiers in their plastic uniforms... While stormtrooper armor may be made of an advanced polymer, I'd avoid using the term 'plastic' here as this ...