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Re: The End Is A New Beginning
Hey! I liked this. It was a powerful piece, I liked the way you structured it and it the reactions to a near death situation seem believable. I could really ...
Sep 22, 2011 -
Re: Dark Light: Chapter 1
To answer your questions: Busters appearance is okay, but we didn't get much of it. We only got a snippet of Buster's looks, and thats only sight. Maybe Buster is ...
Jul 29, 2011 -
Re: A brief history of boys I fancied as a teenager
Haha, I loved this piece. You've liked much more interesting guys than me, but I suppose thats not saying much considering I'm younger and have liked the most boring guys, ...
Jul 29, 2011 -
Re: Uprising.
Oh, wow. I liked this piece.I can hear the characters voices in my head clearly. The descriptions were good, too. Your grammar-specifically with dialogue- could use some improvement, though, and ...
Jul 13, 2011 -
Re: Shadows of the Future [REVISED]
Oh, wow I liked this. I got my attention in the first couple words, and I never felt the urge to press the back button like I sometimes do. Your ...
Jul 13, 2011 -
Re: She Just Realized
I like this story, but I think it could have more feeling in it. She feels left out, go more in depth about it. She is shocked that she's died, ...
Jul 9, 2011 -
Re: The dawn thief
Oh, thats funny. We both submitted for that particular contest, and both of ours aren't particularly happy ones either. I'm going to go ahead and nitpick now. I didn't see ...
Jul 9, 2011 -
Re: Playing Hearts - Chapter 1 (Draft)
Ah, a story. Nitpicking it is! Okay, I started going through it and here is what I noticed: Your descriptions are confusing. 'I almost fell over a mountain, a river ...
Jul 9, 2011 -
Re: Dead Broke -- Chapter 1: Part 1
Haha, I liked the ending. Obviously, your from Britain, who's language sounds so much better in situations like this than American... And yes, your tone is perfect, and the title, ...
Jul 8, 2011 -
Re: Outfoxed ch. 1
Seems interesting so far... And for nitpicking: Bax looked into the trooper’s helmeted face Looking into a face? I might be wrong here, but it seems like a strange choice ...
Jul 7, 2011 -
Re: Fireworks
I feel the same way, too, and this really touched me that someone else agreed with me. While America is clean, people have really forgotten what we had to do. ...
Jul 7, 2011 -
Re: Sortir de son Silence
I love this, it's amazing. I love how Dominique is real, like someone mentioned earlier. I can completely imagine him. And Damien is interesting, too, especially with the dangerous edge ...
Jul 6, 2011