underwater

Having just read the prologue, the first chapter is much better, although far too short. I'd cut out the labels if I were you--it comes off as a cheap thrill, ...

It's a good concept, but it feels rushed. This is a six year old, so the emotional content isn't going to be quite as in depth as an older child ...

Talk about creepy squared. Some spots are slightly unclear, but I love it. It seems a little like it was originally a much longer story that parts were cut out ...

It's a little repetitive, almost like you ran out of ideas and wanted it to take up more space. No offense meant. It's not bad, and I like it, don't ...

Writer's block put into poetry...that's fantastic. The sort of depressing humor that speaks to the irritable author inside us all. This is great, great stuff. You might want to pay ...

Wow...very awesome. The grammar is lacking in parts, but others have already gone into individual mistakes, so I'm sure you know that. It's almost lyrical and very emotional. Sort of ...