timjim77

The ending saved the poem, and made it quite nice actually. In revision pay attention to the following things: 1. Metering. Rhythm is important because you don't want anyone to ...

This is the best of your poems that I have read (which is not nearly all of them). It is absolutely magnificent, and is everything that a modern poem should ...

I have to say that I do not like this poem. It is very self-indulgent. it is a stream of consciousness, which is interesting, but sometimes it gets so far ...

"is all anyone seas": Should be sees. "First grader sitting in his seat Waiting for Iraq to admit defeat His daddys been gone, he knows why And his mom lays ...

Well, I don't see the reason for the divisions. There is no obvious change in perspective. If there was, the poem would have much more depth to it. The best ...

The first part of the poem is interesting. Certainly the subject matter is original, but not entirely inspiring. The latter half, on the other hand, seems kind of unimportant. The ...

Actually, I liked the capitalization. I liked the poem. Short and simple and sensible. Like it. Not everything needs to be a masterpiece. Remember that when you accept critique. :wink:

LOVE it. God-fingers. What a great word. This is really almost an Ars Poetica. Incredible imagery, concise, clear, and with a point. This could be in a textbook. Nice work. ...