theotherone

Hello there. :) “But she isn’t due for another month.” I said with the disbelief obvious obvious disbelief in my voice. When we got there, Bri and I waited for ...

Hello there. :) You want me to quote the whole thing? :O I don't think there's that much mistakes, but I'll still do it and add some notes for you. ...

Hello again. :) Part II (James): I watched her from a distance; arguing with her father: her black hair streaming down her back in long strands and her lilac eyes ...

Hello there. :) I see that everyone else before me corrected all those mistakes... I'll try to make it short. I notice you have a lot of run-on sentences. You ...

Hello there. :) Though the strong urge itched at my fingers I managed to say no too the temptation no matter how very strongly I wanted to act on it. ...

Hello there, it's me again. :) Apart from that, Aimee was starting to make me worried. I was starting to get worried about her, though. She told me she would ...

Hello there. :) I'll begin with the nitpciks and then move on with my overall impression of the story. It was my most resent recent one. I almost didn't see ...

Hello again. :) Whoa, next chapter is short! Like Alexx said here, you might want to get a little more details in this one. That night when I said goodbye ...

Hello there. :) I don't think you have any gramatical mistakes, so good job for that. Y ou came to the coffee shop where I was working , and got ...

Hello there. :) Your grammar seemed fine to me, so I'll leave that alone this once. :) The only thing that I would change is maybe break up that first ...

Hello there. :) Okay, so I corrected all your mistakes, but then my computer shut down, and I don't want to make any full review again... So I'm going to ...

Hello there. :) So, first we the nitpicks, and after I'll give you the overall impression, does that work? I shall begin. :) Rachel, Rach for short, has been my ...

Hello there. :) Fifteen minutes later, she had put on bronze and gold eye shadow, brown-black mascara, black eyeliner, and pink gloss and was putting my blond hair in two ...

Hello there. :) So this was good. A subject writers write a lot about it, but you can't really go wrong with it since pretty much everyone can relate to ...

Hello there. :) I was expecting him home an hour ago , his tea’s getting cold. I think this is everything I could fine. Good job with the writing part, ...