theotherone

Hey there. :) I'll begin with the nitpicks and then go on with my overall impression. How many times have I ran down this trail? Too many times to count, ...

Hello Paper. :) I'll begin with the nitpicks, and then move on with my overall impression of the story. My eye for detail is second-to-none and the window displays I ...

Hey Alpha! Oh, it's not done... I thought it was. :) “Hey , you, congratulations,” I said as we hugged. Anyways, when Joe quit, this guy named Casey took his ...

Hello there. :) This story was really short. I don't get what the plot line is... Maybe add some details and more events? I don't know, it's just an idea. ...

Hello Ofir, :) I'll begin with the nitpicks and then move on with the overall impression. I like d tracing them with the tips of my fingers and then watch ...

Hello there. :) “Hey,” he said , kissing me on the cheek. “I ordered pizza before I left the hospital, I hope you don’t mind eating that ?” Repeating the ...

Hello there. :) I'll begin with the nitpicks, and then go on with my overall impression of your story. Also, let’s say, that girl is your girlfriend , with her ...

Hello there. :) I sit inside my window pane to keep away the pouring rain, and laugh at all the little drops running down like silly props pretending all is ...

Hello there. :) I'll begin with the nitpicks, and after I'll explain my overall impression. The tears come at an alarming rate, and I’ve gone from just crying to sobbing ...

Hello there. :) This was really good. I'm wishing that "unfinished", here means that there's more coming... Because I want to read more. I love the feel of the story ...

Hello there. :) “Okay,” she said, then she turned, looking ahead. This is a little choppy, and it seems a little bit short compared to the other parts... But I ...

Hello there. :) I think Lee corrected pretty much all the mistakes, so I won't repeat. This is a good start. I like how it's going so far, but I ...

Hello there. :) When you told me you loved me , I was so happy. I ran to my car, yanking open my car door , turning the ignition. You ...

Hello again! :) The white-wigged judge nodded, “ thank you . You may sit.” “I apologi z e for my actions earlier, I should have seen that my intentions were ...

Hello there, :) This was a little bit confusing. I liked that you made a link between the prologue and the first chapter with your first lines, but then who's ...