theotherone

Hello there. :) I liked this chapter as well. And the ending... It's good to keep the suspense up and end with something like that. It seems like you've got ...

Hello there. :) First thing: Space your work! It's incredibly packed in there, and it's hard to read like that. Every time you change paragraphs and lines, make sure there's ...

Hello there. :) A soft, orange glow shone just bright enough that I could to read the clock on my bedroom wall. Maybe it was just the thought of having ...

Hello there. :) We’ve never fought at a level where we screamed at each other. We never touched each other intimately in public. The biggest fight we had was when ...

Hello there. :) This is a interesting story, and I liked it. I'm a little bit confused about the ending though. So Mila's with Alyssa now? It's what I understood, ...

Hello Allie. I'm here once again for a review! :) I quoted the whole thing so I could add comments in there, as well as the usual grammatical mistakes. But ...

Hello there. :) “Well are you sure you want to talk to me about her ? I’m just some random girl who you met, like, a week ago.” This makes ...

Hello there. :) This part here bothers me a little. Don't say you think his name is Derek, and then make it look like you know what's his name. So ...

Hello there. :) Really great poem, and I like the theme. It seems like everyone do poems about love and death, and there's no other theme for these. (Don't worry, ...

Hello there. :) Well, I liked this part, almost as much as the first one. :) You have something for abrupt ending, do you? I like it, how it's rough ...

Hello there. :) I felt really stupid, especially since George broke up with me a month ago. Especially is written with a 's', not an 'x'. You made the mistake ...

Hello there. :) I'll begin with the nitpicks and then go on with my overall impression of this story. Corrections are in red, and comments are in bold. I’m princess ...

Hello there. :) So, I'm going to state the obvious... It's short. Not like you're learning anything. ;) The truth is, I need more details, more substance. This is a ...

Hello there. :) You're going to die . I would put this part in italics because they are key words, and well in my head, they are said with a ...

Hello Allie! I just saw that you posted these chapters, so I told myself I should do a little review for you. ;) You know how I work, right? Nitpicks, ...