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tgirly

  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: Candy Kiss

    There are some grammar and spelling mistakes that were kinda distracting to the poem. I don't think glisted is a word. It's a pretty good poem, though. I like poems ...

    Oct 1, 2011
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Finger in the Dust

    I didn't completely understand it either, but it was definitely deep and had a strong feel to it. I didn't see any grammatical or spelling errors! I agree with Zone ...

    Sep 25, 2011
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Random Story Theme Contest Entry

    I like the piece a lot, it has an eery, whimsical yet melancholy kind of feel to it, it kinda reminds me of Stargirl. I didn't notice any grammatical or ...

    Sep 25, 2011
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: The Road

    "Your self" should be yourself. It could have a little more flow. Those are the only things I see wrong with it though. I like the imagery and the meaning. ...

    Sep 25, 2011
  • Other » General, General Re: just cold

    I like this a lot, it's mysterious and leaves you with questions and wondering. I love that. It leaves a lot to the imagination and lets the reader's imagination have ...

    Sep 25, 2011
  • Lyrics » General, General Re: Last Journey Home

    Welcome to YWS!! Wow. The main thing you want a poem, or any story really, to do, is to move you and make you feel something. This piece definitely moved ...

    Sep 25, 2011
  • Short Story » General, General Re: The ongoing Adventures of Bib Fickle

    I liked this a lot. It made me laugh. It seems like something my friend Savannah would say, but then it also kinda reminds me of The Hitchhiker's Guide to ...

    Sep 25, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: sorry I am leaving the site due to study issues ( aka no tim

    I like it. It definitely has intrigue. Maybe it's from reading chapter 2 and chapter 3, and then chapter 1, but I'm not sure if this chapter fits with the ...

    Sep 25, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: In a different frame of mind(3)

    Towards is one word, you have it as to wards. There were a few other grammar/spelling errors, but they all could be easily fixed by a quick once-over. Oscar kind ...

    Sep 25, 2011
  • Short Story » Fantasy, General Re: Virus irruption (extended)

    I don't think anyone would actually ever say to their brother, "You're an adult in you early twenties." Little too telly, not enough show. I wouldn't say that Joseph scampered. ...

    Sep 24, 2011
  • Lyrics » General, General Re: She's gone

    I like your theme and the story behind the poem. Fix up your grammar mistakes and it'll be even better. It's an awesome poem, but could use a little less ...

    Sep 23, 2011
  • Article / Essay » General, General Re: DO they Think...

    It started a little slow and ended a little weird (see above comment from remember) but there was a little gold nugget in the middle, amidst all the grammar mistakes ...

    Sep 23, 2011
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Where Were You?

    Nice poem. I don't actually remember 911, 'cause I was three at the time, but I really like your poem, it changed the country forever. I think the structures of ...

    Sep 23, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » Historical Fiction, General Re: The Great Test of Faith -- Chapter One

    Nice, I like it. We need more Christian fiction out there. Just two nitpicks: In you last sentence, there should be a comma before and after dear reader. I think ...

    Sep 22, 2011
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: A single wish.

    I like it. I don't feel that the last line of the first stanza has the same rhythm as the rest of the poem, it didn't feel tight. I like ...

    Sep 19, 2011


I wonder if people felt the freedom in our culture to love louder, if they'd be quicker to say "I miss you" when the absence of someone is felt instead of just thinking it.
— soundofmind