sylverdawn

I really like this, it makes for a great beginning. I'm guessing that his mother knows something she's not telling. I get the feeling that this is a signigicant part ...

Really good keep going, I'll post a review shortly.

Good job just one issue in general, It was difficult to read since you condensed it all into one paragraph you should do a little spacing.

Overall it sounds really interesting, but I think you should space your paragraphs more. The way it is now made it difficult to follow.

thanks for the comments, i appreciate it, as for some of your questions. This is still the prologue. The Zola are basically immortal so you learn more about Adrika in ...

thnx for the crit, I know this story is really confusing at first, a lot of the stuff is build up for later in the book, if the way they ...

i'm doing spelling and puncuation after the story is finished, and its just these first three parts that are so long, the parts will be shorter from this point on.

right let me clear that stuff up for you, cause some of this remains confusing till deep in the book, first Rath/Sora are best friends but they're the reincarnation of ...