sworddance

Ok, baroness, to further your torture and give you more creepy images to follow you around, I'm posting the next section! :twisted: Katie continued to take rides with Cloasia during ...

Rofl dang it! me and my long sentences! I'll have you know, however, that I once found a sentence that was over a page in length, with exact grammatical correctness ...

Ack, sorry, I almost forgot again. Here's the next part, just for you, chocoholic ;) Continuing to hold the door, I leaned against its frame and watched her go, angling ...

*stunned silence* well, that was disturbing... Unfortunately for your sanity, baroness, the name Cloasia must stay. The history behind the creation of this story is a wee bit complicated and ...

*applause* I noticed you implemented many of the changes- the punctuation, for one, is much better, though there are a few trouble spots. You still have a few info dumps, ...

There is no such thing as reading too much Tolkien. Ever. =P ~sworddance

Don't worry, Cloasia does have a purpose. We'll see if you get to see it in the next seg- not sure how long it will be or how much it ...

Hey :D Thanks for the crit. It's the first "chapter"; the first post was technically a prologue. I hesitate to give these segs the label of "chapter", because this story ...

Thanks for the crits everyone :D I got more than I expected, so that was a pleasant surprise. In answer to your question, Baroness, 'trews' are pants, basically, but more ...

Ah man, conflicting messages! Don't tell me he set a word limit or anything?! Those are the bane of my existence. And no worries on the furnishing thing, just work ...

hehehehe so it's a question of taste, is it? What interests some doesn't always interest others... I agree, that's writing for you. That's the thing about online posting; some will ...

ROFL someone has gone to physics class recently... That's great, amiga. I love it.

Heh, thanks for the crit, man. I asked for it :D I fixed the 'her the tip' typo- thanks for the catch on that; I turned this one in for ...

Ok, so.... my comments. I'll try to make this short and sweet, so forgive me if I seem terse or anything. You already know I love this thing ;) Forgive ...

*blush* thanks, icyhot. aheh.... hey, welcome, by the way. I notice you only have one post- this one? You should do a welcome thread so we can all welcome you ...