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southerngirl5379

  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, Teen Fiction Re: Makeshift | Chapter Two

    I love this story!!! Your writing drew me in and i want to read more! However your descriptions are a little wordy, and it gets kind of confusing. Maybe seperate ...

    Feb 16, 2013
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: The Siren's Story- Chapter 1

    Awesome!!! great back story, you listed everything that composess a good first chapter! its paced well, and has an interesting topic, not many people write aboout it anymore. im glad ...

    Dec 29, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » Action / Adventure, General Re: Inevitable (Intro)

    Amazing introduction. you introduced the conflict without really addressing exactly what it is. Its mysterious annd hooks people in. In the next part make sure and include a seting, and ...

    Dec 29, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: Jesters chapter 2

    It felt like you were trying to hard to make it perfect. I like your writing style and all the imagery you used, but its just one thing after another ...

    Oct 5, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: Hidden- Chapter Seven

    I love this story! the mystery keeps you in it! It gets so intense. I laughed when she yelled ARSEHOLE!" I like this story beacuse it already has a love ...

    Oct 4, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » Action / Adventure, General Re: Sparks; chapter one, part one

    I'm completely in love with this! Its such a great story already it took the first sentence and i was hooked! It drags you in just like the undertow. The ...

    Oct 4, 2011
  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: Leave me broken hearted, by the sideline, wondering why.

    Oh my goodness! This is the best poem i've ever read! The only thing that was wrong was the mispelled word I tell myself she's jelous its Jealous. Other than ...

    Oct 4, 2011
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: My Shadows

    First off i love it! but it is a little bit choppy. The first line kind of goes together but you could say the same thing but say it in ...

    Oct 4, 2011
  • Lyrics » General, General Re: "Tonight, Tonight" (Hot Chelle Rae) Parody

    It works! In fact I think its better than the original song. I liked it because it goes with the same rythym. I found myself singing it! This is like ...

    Sep 24, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: Love Me or leave me

    This left me wondering, its the kind of suspense every writer hopes to obtain. It left the questions in my mind "What is her past with Ethan?" and "What is ...

    Sep 24, 2011


If you have a dream, you have a duty to make it come true.
— Marco Pierre White