Yes, I’m ashamed of it. But I don’t deny that it happens. I could say that I will stop. But I know that, when night rolls around, I’ll go back, pulled there by an invisible rope every night at ten o’clock. So far, I’ve kept it quiet. As long as no one knows, no one has to get hurt.
It wasn’t always like this. I used to be honest, faithful. I still am. Or, at least, that’s what I tell myself. That’s what people think. My life was fine. I was happy, most likely happier than I am now. I wasn’t craving excitement. I didn’t dare go looking for adventure—rather, adventure found me. Not that I pushed it away. I wanted to try something new. I’d heard stories about it, stories that came with a warning. But I was never one to listen to advice. I wanted to, needed to try it for myself before making up my mind. But since that first night, I haven’t been able to stop. Believe me, I’ve tried. I went a whole week without going, without talking to anyone, ignoring their looks when passing them on the street. But it’s like a drug. I’m hooked. And no one will be able to stop me.
Not that they know yet. But soon they will; it’s inevitable. Soon they will find out. Soon they will find me—alone, helpless, after it’s too late. Another victim found, a victim of the curse that slowly suffocates the innocent.
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125,008 Literary Works • 672,836 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
Hmm we have ourselves an intriguing start...we've got a character that appears to be someone that does a thing that's considered bad by society and is somehow ashamed of doing said thing, and wants to stop even though they know that its all a false promise that they can't keep...and so it looks like things go in under the cover of secrecy...well this absolutely gets your attention and does it quite quickly here.
Hmm...so this is a very interesting paragraph there, you've done a great job of painting quite a picture here for us readers without actually mentioning what this thing is at all...and it appears to be some kind of rather dangerous activity..what the references to adventure and potentially getting hurt...it's certainly very intriguing. The whole not being faithful thing is also interesting....well, you've managed to make us readers really want to know what this activity could be here.
Okay...now this is starting to make me suspect that this person is some kind of killer of sorts...that would kind of explain the danger involved and it would certainly explain the whole innocent victims and curses...well, this was a very intriguing piece here at any rate. Definitely a solid introduction, there's enough in here for me to want to read on at any rate.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Amazing introduction. you introduced the conflict without really addressing exactly what it is. Its mysterious annd hooks people in. In the next part make sure and include a seting, and maybe the characters name. This part is perfectly paced to me. Its interesting what you've done with this. keep writing.
Alright, so
This seems really rushed. Give the reader some background. You want to give enough details so that the reader isn't confused, but so that they don't get bored and stop reading. Find the happy medium!
However, I really enjoyed your opening sentence. As the reader, it made me want to continue reading,which is exactly what a first sentence should do.
Keep remembering to bring emotion into your writing, that way the reader wants to continue reading.
Good luck.
I'm interested to see where you go with this.
~Wonderland