sokool15

I really liked auspicious beginning, to be sure. I do think that the therapist was perhaps slightly too impatient? I mean, he would have set aside a window of time ...

This was very good! I was amused, intrigued and wanted to read more. The images of smiling dolphins faded and Fee looked away from the waves that, to her, were ...

EDIT: Rated 'R' for language, yes? Well, I may not be a 'good' critiquer but I'll do what I can. :P Your one major problem that I could see is ...

Hey, Heather! What's up? So here I am...perhaps my hyperactive conscience will finally be alleviated. I'll critique it as I go, so if something I say makes even less sense ...

The J’engar were awkward on their steeds, unused to riding any beast at all, but they managed because they must. Tense errors. You're talking in past tense here, "they managed" ...

Wow. I really, really enjoyed this piece. Brilliant! Really. I loved the way you began with the childish game, escalated very quickly (and with an admirable lack of info-dumping, bravo) ...

“I wonder,” She said icily, “does anybody really love you?” oooh...ouch. :) That's gotta hurt. "I wonder," she said Lower-case 'S' and you'll be fine. Wow... a great chapter, once ...

I loved the first paragraph, and the last paragraph, but that's about all I could read. I'm sorry, but I can only agree with previous critiquer. It's very hard to ...

All right, gyr, great job again! :) hmmm...the four of us have a bond? The four being...Sharr Kavan, Mitra, Lativichia and...whoever the other one was. Cool. All right, sweetness. I ...

Oh, wow. That was really good! Um, yeah, not a lot of helpful criticism here - look at what the other people said! heh heh. So yeah. Well, I guess ...

His body went cold during the night even though he was effectively wrapped in a thick blanket. He glanced at the mountains, darkly looming over him. He suddenly wasn’t as ...

Well, what can I say? Your writing style itself is very good...smooth, easy to read, and mostly grammatically correct. I can't say much for the plot, though. If this is ...

Hum...well. Hum. :) Let's just say...I wouldn't write anything like that myself, but if it's necessary for your story...different strokes for different folks, I guess. One thing I think you ...

Oh, great. Just wonderful. Again, I really, really liked this piece. A wonderful job in characterizing everybody, really delving into your own thoughts. My mother had heard me get up ...

Hmmm, okay, well like I said, I've already read this, so I just skimmed through. “Do you remember those beams of light we shot at each other?” he nodded once ...