Young Writers Society

I woke up knowing yesterday has passed; only knowing today will be different...

Withheld, deep inside me, my feelings have longed to be unveiled. Many times the opportunity has risen, but time after time I feel a sudden revulsion, turned around by qualms of fear and uncertainty. Like a tidal wave the fortuity washes away, washed away by my fading, depleting courage. If only I was different, maybe a bit more audacious. You would know of my feelings and maybe we would be together. We would be in each other’s arms, bound in unison, never letting go. I would look into your eyes as we sit in silence, immersed in empathy; for someti \mes you’ll know a person more when you’re just quiet. But it’s not like that. I am not that kind of person.

I stand outside waiting for you. I told myself that I would make today different. But why is today any different when all the other days ended in solitude? Frequently my head is filled with thoughts of you, of how I would tell you. Just the simple thought of you causes me to smile endlessly, caught in an everlasting, irenical bliss. How can I describe your beauty? As radiant as the brightest star; yet peaceful and serene like the most tranquil, moonlit night. Gazing in your eyes alone makes me shudder in a feeling of an absolute, enduring happiness. Your eyes, so alluring; even more beautiful when enticed in a lights reflection. Gleaming as it casts an even brighter shimmer.

Here is my chance. I catch a glance of you, not too far off. But suddenly I feel weakened. The same daunting thoughts cross my mind. I would tell you how I feel and you would see to it as if it were nothing. You would laugh or just walk away. You would leave me abandoned; alone, feeling so small and insufficient in this now miserable world. Most of all you would break my heart. It’s what I fear the most, something no one wishes to endure. I may not have had my heart broken before but the enigma of it all frightens me even more. You can’t help but feel intimidated by the damage that can be inflicted to yourself and to your entire morale.

But I mustn’t think of such things. I know that I can’t bear the thought of what could have been. If I go on with the rest of my life not knowing, I would be forever lost in a contingency full of regret. So you see I must tell you. I must be optimistic in the way that will encourage me to go through with this inconceivable task. I know that the good things that can happen outweigh the bad. The happiness that you can bring into my life is immeasurable compared to emptiness and despair. But I just can’t seem to get that through my head.

As you walk closer these thoughts battle within me. I start to walk towards you now, building up more courage on the fact that I even took a step. Each step is harmonious to each heartbeat, slowly increasing with each passing moment. It is as if the whole world can hear my heart beating, pulsating deep within me; parallel to the nervousness I am sure to be emitting. As we draw nearer you smile at me; I smile back, elated that you even took notice. You are in front of me now. A pleasant moment of silence passes before we took the initial step to greet each other…

I have longed for the day I would have you, yet I have been hiding in a withheld shadow of doubt. Was today the day that I finally told you; did I overcome my fears and finally expressed my deep, sincere longing?

I woke up knowing yesterday has passed; only knowing today will be different. Nothing has changed but my anticipation for tomorrow.