silverkey

Some grammar-y things first: “Yes grandma.” we would reply, me and my twin brother Darren. Then we would look outside with her, and watch the fluffy white clouds roll across ...

Some grammar nitpicky things first: The sky was blue, the clearest blue in the past week. The wind ruffled through the trees, a nice breeze compared to the harsh winds ...

You've improved very much. c: I don't have much critique to give that the others haven't already given. P: Just a suggestion: I think you can do without the last ...

I'll admit here and now that I was confused by much of the prologue, which was your intention, but it wasn't because of the language. It's probably more understandable now ...

The time has come for Lois to leave Hecrenesia. He has no power at the Academia. T hey will discover the secret that he and his mother, Neah, are keeping ...

Ooh, this is really intriguing. Very mysterious. I like it, but I got kind of bored at the beginning, when all that was happening was the sorting through the children. ...

I have to agree with dancingmangoes. This is a really great work. It's really intriguing, and I can't wait to read the next chapters. I'm already starting to love your ...

I really like the premise of the poem -- dreams and ships and the sun, which are things I take a great interest in. But your imagery seems a little ...