silentpages

Fantastic! ^^ I like this... Here's the review I wrote going through it: 'hear the fire cackle and destory' 'destory' should be destroy... Unless of course the fire is destroying ...

This was interesting... And I think you have potential... Here's my review: "...but one of that mind I am not!" Huh? What does that mean, exactly? After finishing the little ...

This isn't bad... Has potential, but I noticed a few errors, and a couple of things that seemed odd - at least in my personal opinion. "The sharp prickers poked ...

Okay, this is written pretty well, I suppose... But I have to be honest, Mist is kind of coming across as a bully to me. I mean, sure, Derek's a ...

Wow. This is really interesting to me... Fantastic premise, although I didn't entirely get exactly how KRATOS was supposed to work/destroy the universe. Maybe I wasn't reading it carefully enough. ...

'That night was really spooky for people who don't like thunders, lightnings and pouring rain, but to me that night was a beautiful melody.' Unless your main character is like ...

'Wings fluttered and shimmered, outfits sparkled and faces glowed on what everyone, including the bride-to-be, hoped would be her last wedding day.' Loved this. Very nice foreshadowing and context-clu

' my voice shaking with fear. ... I close my eyes in bliss.' He goes from fear to bliss very quickly. o.O This is pretty well written, very intriguing, with ...

'and I look over to where that spot Mom used to be at every day after school' should be something like, 'to where Mom used to be every day after ...

'pushing it over with its draws' drawers 'large silver buildings stretched onto their toes to catch their own bit of sun.' I understand that you're speaking figuratively, but how are ...

Some punctuation errors - proofreading =

'Its bright yellow exterior glowing brightly against the dreary town'. First, this is not a sentence. It can't stand on its own. It needs to be fused with the sentence ...

Couple punctuation mistakes... 'After the chalice was filled, the woman partake of the liquid' Partook. The group fell to the ground, and then they began to flee? How? Did they ...

'The forest that was teeming with animals, tall trees and green plants' Was once teeming. Hmm... Just wondering. Is it considered 'smart' to drink dirty-looking water from a stream on ...

This is good! Intriguing... I'd like to see more. :) I didn't notice a whole lot of errors, and the way your characters speak is very natural. 'It happened. Really' ...