shayna

Okay you guys gave me great ideas, and the truth is, nobody has ever even read this piece before aside from you all, so thanks you've given me a lot ...

It's a little bit predictable, so I think you should shake things up a bit. Maybe throw in a few tragedies or something. Other than that, I really enjoyed reading ...

Once again, a great read. I suppose I should be critiquing you on what you're doing wrong, but I think if you took my advice, you'd end up screwing up ...

Your story is starting to get even more confusing but I'm not going to say anything until I know for sure your not going to clarify. After I read the ...

I cannot believe your only thirteen. I'm hoping in the next chapters it will be less confusing though. I don't understand what this has to do with chocolate really yet.

Wow, I'm really excited to read the following chapters. It sounds like it should be a very interesting story. Have you written anything else besides this story? I would be ...