sezPez

Thank you. :) And Amelia, I figured the poem was short and it would feel kind of stretched if I split it up in stanzas. I used the semi-colons to ...

I wrote this on a flurry late at night and got a little too sleepy/lazy to read over it completely, so thanks for letting me know which parts needs some ...

Haha - that was so lighthearted and cynical :P I like it!

Kind of cliche, but hey, it's passionate. And I agree with [person above me], punctuation can do wonders to the tone and overall effect of your poem. :)

Ehh, I'm sorry, I did have it in paragraphs but forgot that it always pushes the indentions to the left whenever you post something =\

Haha, the last part was funny. I mean it is good, in a comical sort of way. :D

To be honest I was a bit "mehh" on so many by's, but at the time it seemed kind of right to me. Thank you for the comments and suggestions ...

That was a sort of eerie poem where it mixed in suddenness with the rhyme scheme that just made it creepy. Is this a dream you had, or something real ...

Glad to help :) Oh, and I did put it in paragraphs, but for some reason the indents disappeared.