Published April 21, 2011
I was the spirit of a paper fly
that travels briefly but to kiss the sky;
I was the flotsam and jetsam of dreams,
tattered by the sea and thrown by the wind
between the distant shores of here and there;
field of grass flow, and I frolic -
here the sands fall softly, or not at all,
or rest assuredly on the edge of tomorrow
when the rest was said and the rest was done;
I was deaf not to the hums
of birds and songs and leaves and cracks
that float amidst the pollen
of sawdust and stardust;
for all things come and all things go
to scatter in the wind,
yet a thousand nights I have spent
and ten thousand more I will spend
in wandering away with you.
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140,812 Literary Works • 673,694 Reviews
I love the mental images this gave, and how the first sentance made me want to keep reading. There's really nothing wrong with this, except maybe how you spaced it. But good job.
I love the image the reader gets in the first few lines. I also enjoy how you talk about the beach and you description with the birds. I like it a lot. Keep writing!
Thank you.
And Amelia, I figured the poem was short and it would feel kind of stretched if I split it up in stanzas. I used the semi-colons to achieve some sort of segmentation. But I do see your point...
wow...this is so good! i really love the whole feel of your poem!
Hello! Sorry for the short review! I love this so much. Your writing is so beautiful! One thing I would say it looked a bit crammed in one paragraph - space it out and create some stanzas. Once again, a lovely piece of writing. Keep up the great work and you've got a *like* from me!
~ Amelia