seshat77

“Marchetta? Would you like to say good bye to your mother before she leaves?” The receptionist asked. No. “Bye, Mom.” I said hehe, this was my favorite part! You have ...

I really liked this, it was nice, it was also different but not too far-fetched. You had a few spelling errors, i think most of them have been pointed out ...

It's an awesome story, but as the others have said, it needs a bit of work. It is very cliche, if you could add a bit of a twist, it ...

I know it's nitpicky, but it till hopefully help you! [/quote]her mother would highly disapprove of her losing her ribbons. Instead of 'highly dissaprove', use 'wouldn't approve'. When you say ...

There are tons of spelling mistakes, but those are the simple parts to fix, it doesn't change the fact that you have a beautiful way of writing. It's really hard ...

This is beautiful! It captures George's emotion great and Fred's dialogue is exactly how it would be in the books. It's one of the best fanfics I've read in a ...

Beautiful. I agree with JC though, the lack of characterization was it's demising quality. If you could just write a bit more to Jackson and elizabeth's characters, we could feel ...