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Re: Cut the Rope
Hi,these are just a couple things that can be fixed. In the first paragraph in my opinion you used the word bruise to often. Then in the second paragraph you ...
Feb 17, 2011 -
Re: The Bard Chronicles: Chapter 1: Part 1
Hi, so these are just a couple things I caught while reading. The voice of the tour director droned on, and I glanced at the exhibits. (ummm....I think it'd be ...
Feb 17, 2011 -
Re: Valkyrie Chapter 1 ( No longer a part of novel)
I agree with PandaAiKorai with the first sentences. You should perhaps re-write them in a better manner. Oh, and myabe only use ONE "back and forth" just a suggestion. Then ...
Feb 16, 2011