seana

First off, this is a really emotional story. however it also comes across as a poem. (but...maybe its just me) im not going to go through all the basic grammers ...

I loved this, very different from my usual taste in story's, I think it was because you could just Imagen your self in their shoes, sorry I would review; though ...

Okay first off, im not gonna rip the story to shreds, just be sure to check your grammar before posting. This was something horrible that happened, and i can see ...

OK, first off, I think you could use a little more work on your paragraphs. Also maybe use a wider range of adjectives as I noticed you used the words ...

Ok, this is great for a draft. The only thing thats wrong with It is the fact that you dont really set a background, you do however make the reader ...

i thought this was good. it was a nice speed. it had a story bihind it too. i would change the part 'Her very bestfriend Mary, no one understood, no ...

this is quite good...if there was one bad thing it would be that is draged a weeny bit... but this great keep it up :D :elephant: