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Re: An Ode to Me
I like the cerebral lands... ..and the ending is cute. well...not cute...whatever. you get my point.
Jul 2, 2008 -
Re: I am Sixteen
I LOVE the second sentence. Its fantastic. Totally true (I am indeed sixteen, although not adopted...that I know of). I think the ending is the weakest part. The description in ...
Jul 2, 2008 -
Re: This World
I'm pretty sure there is a stark bird. but isn't the end meant to be "spark"? i like the ending but i think spark would make it more meaningful than ...
Jul 2, 2008 -
Re: Synesthesia
The last line is epic ^_^
Jul 2, 2008 -
Re: Birth of July
This is really cool, I agree the imagery is great. But I agree there's something jarring about "Heat not slackens". But yeah. go you.
Jul 2, 2008 -
Re: Just Close you eyes
i like the "memories as our lockets" part. Although I think you could take away one of the repetitive parts to give more of an impact when you do it ...
Feb 23, 2008