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Re: Helion
Thanks a lot for the critique! They all help a lot!
Mar 5, 2010 -
Re: Helion
Thanks for the critique! Only one thing. The sludge was the 3rd level. And i need to clarify that. Thank you!
Mar 3, 2010 -
Re: Infected
Is this a copy off of the movie I am Legend? Cause it sounds suspiciously similar...... Other than that its not too shabby. :D
Mar 3, 2010 -
Re: Element- Chapter 1
Theres a lot more to the plot you dont know about yet. Coden kicked his foot out, sending a rock propelling towards Rives’s stomach. It hit him head on, causing ...
Jul 1, 2008 -
Re: Element- Chapter 1
That was great, thanks! And ill try to work on there depth as characters.
Jun 30, 2008 -
Re: Prologue to...
i like it, but its a little confusing. I hope your enjoying YWS by the way. This prolouge didnt really catch my attention however. It was slightly boring, and thus ...
Jun 28, 2008 -
Re: A part for me a part for you
Id have to agree whit Psyichic Ninja about the little 'pic' part of the song, but other than that, and a few other wierd wordings, i thought it was awsome.
Jun 28, 2008 -
Re: Princess
Just to be sure, this story is about a cat, right? Either way, it was really well done, i dont have enough time to critique it completly, but i couldnt ...
Sep 1, 2007 -
Re: Forever and always.
Well, i dont know about everyone else, but i thought it was perfect. You just have to keep the story going or else i will keep nagging you untill you ...
Sep 1, 2007 -
Re: Trapped
That was awsome!! that was so suspensful, it was better than watching a saw movie!! wow, you really have to write another!!
Aug 7, 2007 -
Re: The Unexpected
Thank you for your advice, and ill try to fix up my story. And yes i know that it isnt long enough to be a chapter, that was just me ...
Aug 6, 2007 -
Re: As soon as i get a title, you will know
Thank you for pointing those out to me, i changed everything that you said, and i think it sounds much better!
Aug 6, 2007 -
Re: Mercenary Wings 6
I like how 'like shadow twit said' expressed brads anger, and the language, kinda falls into the scene for me, i deffinatly see myself screaming my head off if that ...
Aug 6, 2007 -
Re: Mercenary Wings 5
poor Brad! You should keep the dragons in the story for later, like they grow and come to brads aid or something? Its turning into an awsome book!!
Aug 6, 2007 -
Re: Mercenary Wings 4
Kitty seems to be very good at editing things! well, once again, it was a great success of a short story, are you going to make it all into a ...
Aug 6, 2007
