sarahk1771

Amazing, Grammar wasn't up to scratch, i didn't quite understand what's going on. You could try and describe what she is fellings, (The adrenalin was coursing threw my vains.) Just ...

I'm not an expert but it is really good in my opinon. You could go back and change around some sentences. Take your time, pre read. It is really good ...

Really good, interesting choice of words. The pencil at the start is a tiny bit confussing, only did i realise that a hand was involved when i read on. :) ...

I really like this. You could maybe describe how she was feeling as her sister was calling her, You made a mistake. (that maybe her sister was trying to talk ...