rumblythunderxox

Derrick is my fav

I have a crush on Derrick! Ha, sorry. Okay, it was good, lots of dialouge, needs a wee bit more of description. I donno, I'm pretty good at seeing where ...

Fact - You are a great writer I see a lot of improvment from the prologue! I love the way your words come together, they don't sound akward or out ...

I want to find out a little more about her. Are they irish? (because then I'm hooked, there's nothing better then a hot irishmen Ah!) Why was she a weirdo? ...

It okay for your first draft. I mean there was a lot of usless info that i didn't care to much about. So you should def filter it a wee ...

I found there was too much description in your first paragraph. It was a lot to take in all at once. Your character needs a bit of work, but i ...

Okay the dialouge was a little 'much' meaning unrealistic and too fast without 'fillers'. But it has potential. Don't worry about the grammar and spelling. It's your first draft! (Hopefully) ...

Ofir! I had to say, usually i dont like the diary type styled writing. But i really liked this. I know everyone always says 'work on your grammer, work on ...