purplegirl14

This is really good. Mysterious and creepy too! Here are some revisions you could make, since that's what you wanted: "This just can't be the place." He said, going over ...

Very interesting. Here are a few mistakes:(Red=should be deleted, green=needs change) "She is too powerful to o exist in this world any longer." (Should be capitolized.) h is icy breath ...

Very good. I do like how you are switching point of view. It makes it interesting, and this way, if you want the reader not to know everything that is ...

This is a really interesting story. It's very unique and different. I like how there is magic, but it isn't jumping up and down, waving it's arms, and screaming, "Look ...

I really like this! Very unique! It draws readers in and makes you want to know more. I like the way things are described, but a few more details would ...

Great start! Very unique. I like the character. The tips are funny too! Just a tip: I'm not saying that you are doing this, but just don't go by all ...

Wow. Very funny! I love the meow mix part! The rhymes are very creative and interesting. Not sure if this was intentional or not, but the capitolization at the begining ...

Your story is really good. It's very original and inventive. You have very creative names. The details are in depth, but not to much. The only thing I noticed that ...