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Re: Music and Lyrics
Hi there! I see you're Indian; that's awesome. ;D I loved the names you picked for the characters in this story. One of my closest friends in India - her ...
Apr 7, 2011 -
Re: Pens and Knives [Preface, Prologue and Ch. 1]
Hi Pointe! :D First, nitpick. Since it's for a contest, I'll point out any and all errors. x) “Are you sure it’s a good idea , Lema?” H er voice ...
Jan 18, 2011 -
Re: The Magi {ch. 6}
Hi! So, while I think this is a very interesting chapter, I think it interrupts the flow of the story. It's just very abrupt and unexpected with how the story ...
Jan 14, 2011 -
Re: Wishes Enveloped In Paper Aeroplanes
Hi there, I'm Pari!(: First, let me get this out of the way: Oh. My. God. I absolutely loved this. :) I'm a sucker for heartbreak, and the story was ...
Jan 13, 2011 -
Re: The Magi {ch.5}
Hi there! Since we're at chapter five now and getting closer to the real action, I'll try to give a good review. :3 Alright. I think that while your story ...
Jan 12, 2011 -
Re: Away
Maybe I shouldn't review this since I'm considering entering as well... But such an amazing piece, and only two reviews?! :'( First, let me get this out of the way: ...
Jan 10, 2011 -
Re: -
I don't really have any advice save for - don't let it get you too down! You're still very young, and you will have a lot more opportunities in life. ...
Jan 10, 2011 -
Re: The Magi {ch. 4}
Hi again! The spoiler is a nitpick, although I probably missed some mistakes near the end. I lose steam after a couple of paragraphs. :p Ava and Kevin stood in ...
Jan 8, 2011 -
Re: The Power of Pop Secret
Hi there! (: Um... well, I honestly don't have much to complain about with this. xD Your voice is really distinctive and still literary at the same time. I find ...
Jan 8, 2011 -
Re: 55+5, summative.
First of all, kudos for even trying. :D 60 words is really hard. Alone at Last - This is good. The theme is great ; how many times have you ...
Jan 8, 2011 -
Re: The Victim
Hi there! I'm Pari(: The spoiler is a full nitpick. Night falls and the sky covers the surroundings in a blanket of ice cold snow. I find the last three ...
Jan 7, 2011 -
Re: The Magi {ch. 3}
Hi there! First, I'll start by saying that though this chapter is short, I like it. This is the pace your story should stay at. Before anything, spelling&grammar nitpicks for ...
Jan 6, 2011 -
Re: The Almost But Not Quite Suicidal Cherry Sucker *Revised*
Hi, I know this is a) an old piece, b) already submitted, and c) already has reviews, so there's really nothing for me to say. But - I read this ...
Jan 5, 2011 -
Re: (third edit) Power of Pop Secret- Erik's View- Part 1
Hi (: It's Pari, here to review like you asked~ The spoiler is a total nitpick. Anna Trueman sat awkwardly beside me outside Room 239, quietly sobbing. I glanced at ...
Jan 5, 2011 -
Re: Among The Weak Chapter One
Hi there! I'm Pari. :D So this is a little confusing. I think you should establish the MC a little better. We know absolutely nothing about her at this point ...
Jan 5, 2011
