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parigirle

  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: Music and Lyrics

    Hi there! I see you're Indian; that's awesome. ;D I loved the names you picked for the characters in this story. One of my closest friends in India - her ...

    Apr 7, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » Action / Adventure, General Re: Pens and Knives [Preface, Prologue and Ch. 1]

    Hi Pointe! :D First, nitpick. Since it's for a contest, I'll point out any and all errors. x) “Are you sure it’s a good idea , Lema?” H er voice ...

    Jan 18, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: The Magi {ch. 6}

    Hi! So, while I think this is a very interesting chapter, I think it interrupts the flow of the story. It's just very abrupt and unexpected with how the story ...

    Jan 14, 2011
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: Wishes Enveloped In Paper Aeroplanes

    Hi there, I'm Pari!(: First, let me get this out of the way: Oh. My. God. I absolutely loved this. :) I'm a sucker for heartbreak, and the story was ...

    Jan 13, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: The Magi {ch.5}

    Hi there! Since we're at chapter five now and getting closer to the real action, I'll try to give a good review. :3 Alright. I think that while your story ...

    Jan 12, 2011
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Away

    Maybe I shouldn't review this since I'm considering entering as well... But such an amazing piece, and only two reviews?! :'( First, let me get this out of the way: ...

    Jan 10, 2011
  • Short Story » General, General Re: -

    I don't really have any advice save for - don't let it get you too down! You're still very young, and you will have a lot more opportunities in life. ...

    Jan 10, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: The Magi {ch. 4}

    Hi again! The spoiler is a nitpick, although I probably missed some mistakes near the end. I lose steam after a couple of paragraphs. :p Ava and Kevin stood in ...

    Jan 8, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » General, General Re: The Power of Pop Secret

    Hi there! (: Um... well, I honestly don't have much to complain about with this. xD Your voice is really distinctive and still literary at the same time. I find ...

    Jan 8, 2011
  • Short Story » General, General Re: 55+5, summative.

    First of all, kudos for even trying. :D 60 words is really hard. Alone at Last - This is good. The theme is great ; how many times have you ...

    Jan 8, 2011
  • Short Story » General, General Re: The Victim

    Hi there! I'm Pari(: The spoiler is a full nitpick. Night falls and the sky covers the surroundings in a blanket of ice cold snow. I find the last three ...

    Jan 7, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: The Magi {ch. 3}

    Hi there! First, I'll start by saying that though this chapter is short, I like it. This is the pace your story should stay at. Before anything, spelling&grammar nitpicks for ...

    Jan 6, 2011
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: The Almost But Not Quite Suicidal Cherry Sucker *Revised*

    Hi, I know this is a) an old piece, b) already submitted, and c) already has reviews, so there's really nothing for me to say. But - I read this ...

    Jan 5, 2011
  • Short Story » General, General Re: (third edit) Power of Pop Secret- Erik's View- Part 1

    Hi (: It's Pari, here to review like you asked~ The spoiler is a total nitpick. Anna Trueman sat awkwardly beside me outside Room 239, quietly sobbing. I glanced at ...

    Jan 5, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: Among The Weak Chapter One

    Hi there! I'm Pari. :D So this is a little confusing. I think you should establish the MC a little better. We know absolutely nothing about her at this point ...

    Jan 5, 2011


I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
— Solomon Short