onceuponatim3xo

Thank you soooo much for the extremely detailed critiques! :D I definitely need to start over, I just plunged in and I hate when I do that!

Thank you! Yeah, I'll have to change this - definitely! Also, it's not going to be my title, don't worry. I just didn't want to put Untitled down :D About ...

Thank you soo much for reading it! :D I am going to have to go back and make it less rushed though! I'll probably outline a better beginning before I ...

Thank you very much for critiquing! My original draft is in my profile if you want to see it. I decided to change the story because I didn't want it ...

Actually, that's not at all what I meant. I didn't really have any metaphors :? Also - my story really doesn't have anything to do with love, there might be ...

This is really good! It is very powerful (as Fangala the Flying Feline had pointed out) but I also think that some parts of it are a bit wordy. Other ...

This is really good, but it doesn't really have a rhythym to it - it's more like a story with a few words taken out. My suggestion is to read ...

Thank you so much! :D -Onceuponatim3xo

Thank you so much for the help! Kitty 15 - I was too full of bitterness towards this stupid town. I'm really confused, I thought that it was proper grammar ...

Wow! That was REALLY good! I agree with smorgishborg. :D

Okay thanks, I edited it, I hope that's better. I did have tabs when I copied and pasted, but I guess that didn't work (this is my first post)

yeah, i agree with twit.

I really liked the idea of it, very funny! I agree with canislupis and twit in their revisions.

I thought that it was.... different. I really liked it though, it was written beautifully, but if it weren't, I'd probably think it was a little too strange for my ...

I thought that it was really good. I liked how you kept the reader wondering what was going on in the beginning. It made me want to keep reading.