onceuponatim3xo

Ahahaha I love how this has almost 60 views but only three critiques because either no one wanted to start the long process of telling me everything that was wrong ...

Your voice is absolutely gorgeous!! I loved listening to this song and never wanted it to end. Fantastic job! You're so talented, what with the violin, piano, singing and all...

@RachaelElg - Thank you SO much for critiquing this! Your review was really insightful. I definitely need to work on making Oliver sound less like Olivia ;) thanks for pointing ...

Alright awesome!! I'm excited to read it :) PM me when it's up.

Thank you guys so much! :D That's a lot of help

Oh :lol: I'm sorry, I thought that you were serious about this story and it wasn't supposed to be a comedy. That changes things a bit. But I'm still strong ...

Thank you so much :D I have chapter two ready if anyone would like to read it.

It was all right as far as literary techniques go, but still it was very dull and at the same time so disgusting that I couldn't read any more - ...

Hey, I edited the prologue a bit and merged it into chapter one here:

awesome, thanks! I'll try to clear that up :)

Now, the kind of vamp story that you (or some else besides LittleB) might write would probably be cliche. But not all vamp stories have to be cliche. That's just ...

Okay, I'm assuming this is where you changed it :) I watched him go, the sun slipping behind his head as he vanished. I was bored and the swings squeaked. ...

It was in the title, it's called "The End" and under that it says "If you like vampires"

To answer your question, dear, yes, this one is much, much more realistic than the first. Awesome, thanks, I was worried if it was or not.

Thanks very much for the crits you guys! :D It helps a lot. Quick question: does this event seem realistic or are there any major flaws with it that I ...