onceuponatim3xo

Hello! This was so intense! I loved it! Very, very sad. You have a great way of building up the action and describing the carnage that war has caused. What ...

Hello! This was so perfectly bittersweet. I haven't read the previous chapters but I didn't really need to to understand what was going on, which is fantastic! I really enjoyed ...

Hello! This was a very intriguing story and I didn't want it to end so fast! So, here's some nit-picks: I couldn’t say that I wasn’t expecting it. The moment ...

Hello! This was a very interesting story and I was very intrigued by it. You have a way of keeping the reader's attention. I'm not really a fan of how ...

Hello! This was a very cute story and I could definitely see it becoming a great children's story. The thing is though, as others have mentioned previously, there is no ...

Hello! This was a great read, I'm really interested in what happens next ;) I love how well this flows and how it's humorous even though it's about someone getting ...

Hello :) So, after reading this I am very interested in seeing where it will go, you definitely have a great idea for a plot going. I do agree with ...

Hello! This was a great read, I'm very interested in seeing where this will go. ;) Here are some nitpicks: She had killed for this spot. She wasn’t letting it ...

Hey! Welcome to YWS :) This was interesting but you definitely need to get some punctuation in here....specifically quotation marks. There is a lot of telling in your story as ...

I kind of missed the bright red "This was written by my 8 year old" just like addicted2theshindigg haha. So...seeing how this isn't your work, I'm not really sure how ...

This was an excellent read, you utilize a fantastic vocabulary along with sentences that flow very well. The thing that I would have liked to see more in this prologue ...

I laughed. The brown horse below me made a noise , [s]which[/s] indicat[s]ed[/s] ing its approval. My plan was to ride north[s]wards[/s], seeking an easy crossing across the river to ...

I think that you have something going here, it's really interesting so far. I do have one suggestion though. It seems a bit fast paced, there isn't much character development ...

Hey The.Dreamwalker, welcome to YWS! So, this I found to be very very excellent. It's so descriptive and flows so easily. Great job!! A few things though (sorry this is ...

Hey, welcome to YWS FountainousQuill! This was really great! Just some nit-picks though: It wasn't that I minded too much - but by the time I finished [s]up[/s], I'd miss ...