niccy_v

Okay, i love where this story was headed, and it's a great story indeed. Now forgive me i do sound way harsher than my intentions actually are meant, so bare ...

eh thank god i began reading them when BD was out, so i just read them all one after the other. The whole time though i would've liked it if ...

Overall i really love this story. I have seen you've cleaned it up since originally posting it - thank god - now there's less mistakes. I believe that your heart ...

This is great. The end really fascinates me. Wow, you really had fun writing this didn't you? I look forward to more; there weren't many errors, just a few words ...

WOW. That beginning drew me right in - well done. I love what she says over his body. So powerful and so emotional. I can imagine everything, hear everything. It's ...

Just a question: Is it to do with that song 'i kissed a girl and i liked it' by Kate Perry? I'm just curious because the last line - i ...

Okay: The story begins strong and it's so realistic! I love when Owen is introduced. The awkwardness Danae feels makes me want to read on, and quickly. But i am ...

A brilliant chapter. but... double full stops! no need. See, you do this: blah blah.. yeah and this happens. yeah la di dah, blah... Either use one full stop to ...

Ok, i have a question. Are you actually going to progress with this as a chapter and story? If not - well i won't put much here, just a general ...

This is a great second bit to the story. Watch out for a and an in front of vowels. AEIOU have an in front. The rest have a. Easy mistake ...

First thing: USE COMMA'S OR if required/allowed SEMI COLANS! Most sentances in the beginning sentances are just one simple sentance. Without commas/semi colans your readers aren't going to get the ...

1. Is this post a good length, or would you rather I post longer/shorter segments at a time? It's a fair length. I suggest if you want to turn this ...

After reading, this is pretty good. For a contest i can understand you whipped this up quick smart and wasn;t too deep on the time management and letting yourself fall ...

Overall i love this story! It;s got dramatic scenes and brilliant imagery. - Watch out for the repetition of flames/fire. It's said so many times i wanted to just scribble ...

Great, it's getting much better. You're lacking emotion and proper descriptions. Use that brain of yours and show off how intelligent you are by flaunting a quality vocab. I hate ...