myfreindsavamp

sounds good to me..i can't seem to write fully in first person...

*That's sad.*

Im doing third person in a naritive tone on proble four characters in my story and ya that was good. -em

Ok yes ill explain later and yes ill try to add more detail and no i havent read unloved yet....Ill try. :D -em

I got to the point where she firet sees 'them' and i coldn't read anymore atention span doesn't strech that well.... -em

Great detail but I do agree about the stalker thing...Mabe if you add more infessas as to why he was there it whould make us beleive he isn't that much ...

Ok I finished typin up my 2nd short song... -em

Ok how does the last paraghraph look now? -em

Actualy I don't mind I don't really want to have my heart broken... -em

ok I fiished reading it ....That was kinda cunfusing but that's great. I have a q though....What was your old user name?*pm the answer to that because Im not sure ...

ok I finished the story finaly so Ill try and get the second ch in today hopfuly

The second senence needs a q mark and your Is need to be capitalized...just to let you know....but I agree with your poem Im afraid of relationships too..... -em

I've never heard of that movie.... Oh well thanks. -em

I didn't mean at all for this to take away.The very aspect was that feelings created color... -em

Or you coud move it all up to the top and put little stickys inbetween when you added more.... -em