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Re: A small biography for my character in a novel im starting
Ok so is she going to be 13 in the story? At the moment there is not really anything else to say...maybe a bit more about her personality and lifestyle? ...
Oct 17, 2008 -
Re: angels from ashes
I felt that this was all very rushed. You weren't giving enough time or consideration to your characters. I think the opening chapter was quite weak, it was a fire, ...
Oct 17, 2008 -
Re: My mother
First you need to review two other pieces of work before you post your own, its kind of a rule here, mkay? This is ok, and I like that its ...
Oct 17, 2008 -
Re: The Elephant Boy {three}
Yet again my comment is just going to be that silly little one on the end! This is all im going to read up to today, so I will read ...
Oct 17, 2008 -
Re: The Mask Maker
Wow I really liked this beginning, at first I didnt know why he was standing there, thinking maybe he was one of the people that arrested him, after the "See ...
Oct 17, 2008 -
Re: The Elephant Boy {one}
Well seeing as everything has been pointed out already this is just going to be one of those redundant little comments at the end just saying whey well done :) ...
Oct 17, 2008 -
Re: The Elephant Boy {twelve}
Wow I started reading this and I haven't read any of the other chapters, but I have to say that I love it!!! Your style of writing is so unique, ...
Oct 17, 2008 -
Re: Beyond This - Practice Introduction
First of all I noticed that you haven't reviewed any other pieces on here, its a general rule that for every piece of your work that you post you should ...
Oct 16, 2008 -
Re: When Brakes Are A Bad Thing
This is okay for a short story, but as it stands it is just okay. I think you need to tell us more about this party, at the moment Im ...
Oct 16, 2008 -
Re: Jail bird- Ch 1: wrong footing>fix it
OK this is probably going to realllly annoy you but I used to staudy law and I know this is a story and is going to lean towards the fantasy ...
Oct 16, 2008 -
Re: Past. Present. Future.
Well that certainly was unusual. But I really liked it! Are you going to continue with this? Now then. there are some parts that sound confused, but it might just ...
Oct 16, 2008 -
Re: A poem written after i tripped on acid once, well almostjava
I really liked this! I'm not going to say anything technical because I dont really understand too much about the technical side of poetry. But I really honestly did like ...
Oct 16, 2008 -
Re: Equals
If my revised version fails, then I think I'll move on to the next chapter first. Then come back again. -I find that when I am writing a longer piece ...
Oct 6, 2008 -
Re: What I Did For Love
ok first thing, here at the YWS its a general rule and understanding to have a 2:1 ratio on reviewing work before posting your own, remember this in the future ...
Sep 29, 2008 -
Re: True Friend
This made me smile :) I don't really like to comment on grammatical or other poetery issues as I can't write poetry so I feel like a bit of a ...
Sep 29, 2008