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Re: One Word Will Change A Life (Chapter one)
This is a good story but it might need a little more. Probably more description or background. Plus the story kind of ends on an ambiguous note. Maybe you should ...
Jun 26, 2011 -
Re: Eating for Two
This was a really cute story. Very quirky and...nice. It might be a bit unrealistic, as was said by the commentor above, but I liked it. My only thing would ...
Jun 26, 2011 -
Re: Unforgettable
This is very good. I loved how you described human emotion, and how realistic this is. It' s great to realize that not all people have the courage to blurt ...
Jun 26, 2011 -
Re: One Day (contest entry)
This is a really sweet story, and I loved it. The way you described the characters was very nice, and the detail was vivid in my head. My only thing ...
Jun 26, 2011 -
Re: No Name Yet
This was good. However, the first three sentences of this story were a little..passive I'll say. And it' s "I've never felt so scared" not "I never felt so scared" ...
Jun 22, 2011 -
Re: Sweet Revenge
This was okay, but kind of cheesy. The ending probably wouldn't have the impact on the reader that you wanted. That's because you started out with a serious tone in ...
Jun 22, 2011 -
Re: Enigma
Is this a beginning? Because if it is this is really good. It's fine by itself, of course, but it'd be a nice beginning. The only thing I have to ...
Jun 22, 2011 -
Re: Bad Jokes
This was really good. I liked the insanity from the boy "Ted" and the story as a whole. Although the third line in the story "His eyes were completely serious" ...
Jun 22, 2011 -
Re: Forgetting Names
This is okay, but the story is a little implausible. If people actually knew this guy was doing this (like Jenny did), wouldn't he be arrested? No one, especially the ...
Jun 15, 2011 -
Re: keeping time-contest entry
This is awesome. I loved how you made the story flow easily so you could see it vividly in your head. The emotions in the story were conveyed subtly, and ...
Jun 15, 2011 -
Re: The Psychologist
I agree that the writing was a little flat for me, but it was okay. This peace needs a lot more dramatice voice to become better. Nothing much happened, so ...
Jun 11, 2011 -
Re: The Sea John's Girl
Good story! This was good writing, and it was an interesting story. I especially loved the beginning, and how it seemed like a fairytale. However, the ending was little abrupt ...
Jun 11, 2011 -
Re: If I was nice I wouldn't be a villan
I love this!! It was simple, well-written, and conveyed its point very well. I enjoyed how the protagonist was evil but never really had it come back to bite him, ...
Jun 11, 2011 -
Re: The Stove Witch
Well, that was interesting. The thing is, I didn't get that he killed himself until i reread the end a few times. Maybe you should hint more at what he ...
Jun 11, 2011 -
Re: Like Sisters
Was this just a short story? What I mean is, is this the end of it? If this is the end it was just..okay. You wrote this really well, but ...
Jun 11, 2011
