mikedb1492

Adriana’s hair glistened like the water, reflecting thousands of colors. Hair can reflect thousands of colors? This was relatively short and I wasn't sure what this was about until about ...

Let's get started, shall we? When the scared-looking soldier stepped out of the woods with his hands raised I was pretty sure that he wanted to surrender but my sergeant ...

This was really well written, and overall it was good for what it was. The only thing is that I wasn't sure what was going on. I didn't know what ...

Nice, man, nice. It was really funny. The only thing was that I don't think you can write about it and make it funny. To make it amusing I had ...

Alright let's get started. It then shown brightly on her full length mirror which reflected an image of herself that she barely recognized. I'd personally get rid of the word ...

Alright, let's get started. Jo turned at the sound, hoping to catch a glimpse of the bird. But it remained hidden in the... You don't need to separate these sentences ...

You're descriptions were nicely done and I understood what happened at all times. You've got a great style here and I think you should keep it up. The only objection ...

Here's the critique. She’s only the Abbot’s daughter, why all the fuss. That's a question, so use a question mark. Other than that there's nothing to critique. And like KJ ...

As Mr. Bucklin was leading him to his doorway he began to feel nervous, how would the Bucklins respond when he entered their house. Change the first 'him' to 'Thomas'. ...

I personally thought that these conversations sounded nothing like what Harry and Ron would say. Besides, they're usually sitting by each other and talking anyway. If you ask me, you ...

Okay, I tried to go through the whole thing and give you a good review, but I just can't. I'm sure it's good and well written, but the problem is ...

This piece was actually kind of poetic. Especially the ending, in my opinion. I've personally never heard of this idea before and enjoyed it thoroughly. Sarah’s eyes moved down the ...

Wow. This kind of makes you feel weird when you read it, but in a good way. I have a sibling too, and to imagine him or her doing something ...

Wow, this was pretty cool. It makes perfect sense too, because after being exposed to lifetimes of hurt, its only natural for someone to get pissed at the world. It ...

Alright, let's get started. They were both staring at him intensely and the fact that her long brown hair made her seem even more intimidating, did not help the situation. ...