User avatar

mShujin

  • Poetry » Narrative, Satire Re: A Walk in the Zoo, Year 2200

    This is really an intriguing poem. "We like the things we make ourselves," is a very powerful statement. Even in that age where animals no longer exist as living creatures, ...

    Dec 11, 2012
  • Poetry » General, General Re: A Numerical Story

    Oh, how I love a poem with a message. I say this would be a great poem to offer a child (or adult) having trouble with really any problems in ...

    Dec 10, 2012
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Residue

    I've an affinity for material dealing with memory. Other than a few comma splices, it paints a vivid picture. The end of the first paragraph: "There! I can smell you ...

    Dec 10, 2012
  • Poetry » Dramatic, Narrative Re: Tip me over and pour me out

    To start off: 1.3-5 Ugh -- love it. I still fight this every day, wondering how I can still be questioning this so often in my life. 4.1-2 From a ...

    Dec 10, 2012
  • Short Story » Horror, General Re: My Little Invalid

    Afternoon, Neva. "and how many have given [...] How many?" I feel this really intensifies how the reader may place themselves in the mindset of the victim. I'm unsure of ...

    Dec 10, 2012


if you're going to commit food crimes be civilized
— Moonlily