lotti

Most sincerely thank you for the advice, its all been most helpful! Especially to curb my "purple prose" tendencies, and just generally improve the effect of my writing. =] Excalibur ...

Thank you Sureal, Sela Locke and Squall. Your comments have all helped me develop this story. But as you can see several more paragraphs have been added, so I'd like ...

O sod, thanks for the spelling mistake and the little letter, i do have problmes with that kind of stuff, all corrected. Ok, less flowery, got it, thanks you guys

Meh Purple prose, I can live with that in an epilogy. To be honest all my writng suffers from it. Thanks for review though, and gramer refrences. x

so yh ive added more now. i think this is kinda the first chapter, tho im not sure where it is going. read and review please!!! thanks

yes Arekkusu i like that line very much as well

im guilty that i havnt atually read it, but going on the film which was amazingly weird 1984 by george orwel thanks some sick deranged awesomness

hi seekers, what do u need u hated it lol thanks for saying it was wel written. do u mean u didnt like the story line so far??? it does ...

thank you esme for the tips and everything :) it does need editing, for the capitals and comma use (as i tend to over use them) and ovbiously speeling. and ...

thanks kaylyn yh it was first type so spelling is gonna b a problem lol and there will be more coming x

yh ur right it does need more. but it was kinda a spur of the moment thing, and it doesnt really go anywhere at the moment, perhaps i can create ...