liveandbreathewords

Hello again! Just a few things... "Trees and bushes grew in abundance, and butterflies fluttered by.... There were plenty of balconies with rotting railing, cobwebs were in abundance,...." You might ...

I do not have many things to nitpick about. The grammar was good; I didn't really find anything that needed fixing in that department. When you start off the story, ...

I thought that this was pretty good... but I do have some suggestions: "The second.... The third.... The fourth...." You may want to change this; instead of listing, you can ...

I have a few suggestions; "Yes, that’s me.” I blurted, looking down at the plump, probably about fifty, with died platinum-blonde hair receptionist." I think this would make more sense ...

You did well, but I have just one thing: "Her face softened and then turned skeptical. She narrowed her eyes. “All she told you about me was that you liked ...

You did a nice job, but there are some things that I had trouble understanding. "Her long blond hair moving as viciously as her knife, failing to obscure her fierce ...

It's pretty good, but when you say, "I glimpse white occasionally in the forest, but most of the time it's gone before I take a proper look. That's okay. I ...

I completely agree! Too many people think that looks are most important, but I would also rather have someone with an awful body and amazing personality rather than somebody with ...

There were no grammar mistakes as far as I can tell... The plot was pretty good, too; I liked how you didn't just reveal everything right away. This story actually ...