lemonayyde

Hello again! I've only got a few things to point out "I gasp, at her floating head. Her body isn’t there." The comma after gasp just makes the word flow ...

Hello again! I only have one small thing to point out! "In Hades’s absence, I discovered that the things I’d forgotten at Catacaen—my dress and sandals, and my bow and ...

Ah, I love this chapter! Hades character is developing so greatly, and Persephone and making some wise choices and learning to listen to others as well. I only have a ...

Absolutely AMAZING chapter! I only have one comment, and its more of a nit. "Since my sisters were killed, my parents had done everything to keep me and my brother ...

Hello again! I love this chapter and the way Athena points out Persephone's flaws! It's very important for it to be known that the main character is not perfect, and ...

Hello once more! I've only noticed a few things in this chapter. "Most of them are to here be Summoned by the lesser gods." I believe this sentence is arranged ...

Hello again! Just have a few things to point out. “Please. Let me protect you. Now. Let me protect you from yourself.” I would combine "Let me protect you." and ...

Hello once again! I have a few small things to point out. "Behind me, the other passengers unload, walking past me" This is a bit nitpicky, but the me at ...

Hello again! I love how you described and wrote both Hades and Artemis! The personality you have given them is truly amazing, and I can't help but fall more in ...

Hey DreamWorx95! I can already tell that this story is going to continue into a breathtaking tale. If it ever gets published you definitely need to tell me, because I ...

Hey DreamWorx95! I really really love this so far, and the concept has me hooked already! I have just a few things to point out! We'll start with typos and ...

Hey Muskie! I love the concept of your story! I do have a few comments though. This story could benefit a lot by being broken up into paragraphs instead of ...

Hey BenoBeruce! I loved your story! The concept is interesting, and you had a great hook! I only have a few comments. One is about the use of commas. A ...

Hey Horisun! I must say, I'm on the same boat you are- this poem really captures what it is like to reread what you had been working on! My only ...

A very interesting start! It has my attention, and I'm eager to see where you go with it! A few comments though- I'm not sure if it is intentional, but ...