lace182

Hi Alchemist, it isn't obvious to me that you are not a native speaker of English in your writing. That said, I wouldn't suppress your native phrasing all of the ...

Thank you for the review.

I can appreciate that you warned us about typos and errors and you haven't edited anything. You don't want us pointing out the obvious I guess. I would have done ...

I love this one. All so true, so true.

I have cut off parts of this story to try and start it at a better place, a harder hitting place. It think part of my problem is I don't ...

I never considered that. You are right that I tend to write in short sentences and I can understand how that would inhibit the flow. Thank you so much for ...

This is gory and horrifying. Well done. I'm curious as to what caused this obviously young person to become so disenchanted with his world and angry at his parents as ...

This is a cute, quickly paced sort of writing style. I like the flow of the dialog. I have not read other chapters so I can't comment on the plot ...

This chapter goes from an interesting setting in a restaurant to an unexpected scene on the bus then a conversation that seems incongruous with the way the night began or ...