krazywriter

You know, I considered the thump part, too. I couldn't think of a better word. How about "smack"? I did say Mr. De Haan was twenty-something, if that helps, maybe ...

You know, I really appreciate your input, but I have to disagree on some of these things. My style is fast-paced, not necessarily descriptive. In my opinion, descriptions of buildings ...

Okay, I'm not sure what you meant by that, but I just decided I would do a reincarnation story since it's an alternative world view. Evolution and Creation aren't the ...

Okay, reincarnation story. Once upon a time... uh, maybe I should start that differently again. For as long as anyone can remember, a world has existed full of diverse plant ...

"Awakening, the infant immediately let out a series of loud wails." Is that any better? It doesn't fit very nicely in the context, but I could change that, too.

Really good! A perfect description of writer's block. I've had writer's block so often. I suppose one way you could battle it is by writing about it... It's true; time ...

How else do you say a child is crying? I suppose I could use "wailing" or something, but that's not much different.

Yep, I guess that's true. He doesn't believe it at first. Good catch!

Thanks for the comments! I know it might be a bit hard to connect the prologue just yet, but from my experience, most prologues are like that. It'll tie in ...

Yes, that's much clearer. I think I didn't understand that line because it's supposed to be "though the dark is WHERE the lies, lie," right?

Like I told Legend, it's just the prologue. I'll try to answer those questions later. Glad you like it, though!

That's fine. I've already seen a few completely blank posts! :)

Great questions. Problem being, this is a prologue. You're not really supposed to know all the answers yet. Thanks for the comments. I'll try to upload more as soon as ...

Sometimes short and sweet is good. It gives a whole different feel than something long. It seems like something figurative, or maybe a riddle. Maybe someone who's physically alive, but ...

It's a pretty clever poem, in my opinion. May I ask what made you want to write a poem about King Ahazia? It's one of those stories I've heard before, ...