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Re: Nw story, need help please!
You switched tenses. Be careful of this, it makes the story disjointed. if you meant to have it like this I seriously suggest changing it to continue flow. "The tears ...
Jul 25, 2009 -
Re: Get Over It
Scene one goes way too fast for my taste. As other writers have pointed out, you could lengthen it quite a bit. Maybe the mother wants to talk to Carlyn ...
Jul 20, 2009 -
Re: Eff.
I liked this. It was honest, youthful, and naive, sort of, all at the same time. But there was one other thing about it. Sometimes the writing was juvenile. I ...
Jul 17, 2009 -
Re: Daddy's Little Plaything
I really loved the twist at the ending. please, PM me when you post more. I would love more background on some of the characters, but I'm sure that's coming ...
Jul 17, 2009