kiritosao

Ok you did real good in my opinion. Like in all works there will be haters. When you come across them make it your motivator to prove them wrong you ...

I would say this not bad. It takes time to write good stories and practice. With me I review and edit my story at least 15 times. Say you did ...

Wow just came close to bring tear to my eye it didn't but I never been this close to crying in a long time. You really need to continue it ...

This is not bad. I would say more descriptive details but when i write a story i will for get it also so in my case its ok for me. ...

I must say not half bad. With a lot of things it could be better. But then again there two things you can never forget. Number one is be true ...

i would say this you have an okay to good hook. I can never get a good one for my storys. You do have somewhat of a good vitim going. ...