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Re: On Salvation's Wings
First off, I love the way you have so effectively established the personality of your character so quickly in the story. What a cocky self-righteous person. I love the dryness ...
Nov 1, 2008 -
Re: Death of a hero
This sounds like the beginning (or end?) of a very complex and compelling story. It leaves me wanting more. Sounds very epic. The main problem I had with it is ...
Nov 1, 2008 -
Re: Lyrria; The Beginning- The Dream
Interesting story. I look forward to seeing where this goes. A few comments: You should probably avoid overused phrases such as "like a deer caught in headlights" and "a million ...
Nov 1, 2008 -
Re: Sincerely, X [CHAPTER 2]
Again, I think you may want to work more on physical description. I like that you revealed a little more background on the main character. One thing you may want ...
Oct 22, 2008 -
Re: Sincerely, X [Chapter 1]
This sounds like it will be a very interesting story and I look forward to reading more of it. There are a few things I would recommend changing: There is ...
Oct 22, 2008