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jefferyffe

  • Short Story » Realistic, Dramatic Re: From Ninety to One-Eighty

    I like this piece. However, I want more of a background with her parents, perhaps add a scene where they argue with each other over her choice. Maybe you could ...

    Dec 16, 2012
  • Short Story » Horror, Mystery / Suspense Re: Lucid

    I don't like that it's a dream. I want to see your narrator fight against something she can't control, in the real world. I want to be able to root ...

    Dec 16, 2012
  • Short Story » General, General Re: RJ

    This is a very traumatic story and I appreciate your willingness to write and share it. My critiques are the exact same as everyone else's. I guess in a revision ...

    Dec 16, 2012
  • Short Story » Literature, Romantic Re: Deleted

    I absolutely loved the build up of tension when she's looking at the painting. I could feel the tension which is wonderful, of course. I also found myself rooting for ...

    Dec 16, 2012
  • Short Story » Narrative, Realistic Re: The Sanity

    I enjoyed this, I found it was a very compelling character sketch. I would like to see more of an Oedipal complex along with some kind of guilt for what ...

    Dec 16, 2012


Irrigation of the land with seawater desalinated by fusion power is ancient. It's called 'rain'.
— Michael McClary