jMin

Liked the biblical allusion! The AABBCC... rhyming scheme gives the poem a pretty cool and energetic rap feeling to it. Also, the lack of periods made this poem a run-on ...

Wow. This is some pretty deep stuff. Okay, here's my edit: A new dawn is approaching, its (no apostrophe for "its") light shines through my fingers. But still, a sorrowful ...

my criticism is more in line with Caligula's Launderette's. I personally think that you don't listen to what the other guys are mostly saying. I think your story is practically ...

A way longer version of Hemingway's "Hills Like White Elephants." My God, I just had disturbing images of "Juno" and Jamie Lynn Spears. With an eighteen-year-old guy? EWWW. But this ...

I'm in love with the tactile imagery throughout your poem, especially here: "he slips / his whip down my throat, / lashing the inside of my mouth. / The Reaper ...

I agree that the characterizations of Rosa and Josie don't seem realistic. The only thing that is convincing the reader that they're little children is that they address their parents ...