hunter111

That's a pretty good poem you got their, but as said before your punctuation and rhyming scheme is a bit off. Still, you definetly capture the emotions of the poem ...

Marmite is the pig that I mentioned before and in the end he only falls off the cliff since Arthur, his owner, needs to do that in order to save ...

There, the improvements are finished so it should be a much better read. Thanks for the crit Sureal; i never would have realized that their was so many mistakes in ...

Thanks SeraphTree, your actually the second person to give me a real review for my story so far. And i see your point about my switching viewpoints suddenly; i've always ...

I thought so, i've seen alot of other writer's use that as well, and while it does sound correct it just doesn't look right when written out like that alot ...