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horsegirl2

  • Poetry » Other, General Re: [In]Sane

    Wow! I really enjoyed this, I could empathise with every line!

    Sun Aug 08, 2010 12:38 am
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Sunset Sailors

    Very good piece, however the line Where sunset sailors often hide away doesn't seem to fit, but that may just be me. Very nice poem, I enjoyed it!

    Sun Aug 08, 2010 12:36 am
  • Short Story » Action / Adventure, General Re: War of 2201: Reminiscing the Good Old Days (1)

    Interesting. The only nit-pick I have for you is sometimes I couldn't tell who was speaking. Be sure to make it clear who is speaking. It was a very interesting ...

    Fri Aug 06, 2010 7:16 pm
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Play. Pause. Rewind.

    I really joyed it. I especially loved the ending, it tied the whole piece together nicely. When it grammar and such I believe everyone else covered what I would

    Thu Aug 05, 2010 10:38 pm
  • Short Story » Action / Adventure, General Re: Land of Plesant Living

    Very interesting. You kept switching past and present tense, but that was about the only grammatical error I saw. Also, the main character could have been developed a little more, ...

    Thu Aug 05, 2010 10:17 pm
  • Short Story » Action / Adventure, General Re: Blind me

    You have very good style, I only saw a few mistakes that could easily be fixed. However, I'd like to see you write something that hasn't been done 200 times ...

    Thu Aug 05, 2010 10:09 pm
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: Holding the Sun - chapter 2

    That was good. Can't wait to see where this goes.

    Wed Aug 04, 2010 1:02 pm
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: Assembly-- Chapter One

    This sounds like it could get very good. What I did see though, is that in places where you used a dash, you should have used a semi-colon. Also, you ...

    Wed Aug 04, 2010 12:57 pm
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: Fire Dimensions-Prologue

    Amazing! I saw a few simple mistakes, but I can't wait to hear the rest of this.

    Wed Aug 04, 2010 12:37 pm
  • Novel / Chapter » Historical Fiction, General Re: My Robin Hood Chapt. 4

    Wow! Very good I was drawn right into the story. Saw a few type-os, but no major mistakes Can't wait for the next part!

    Wed Aug 04, 2010 12:02 pm
  • Short Story » Fanfiction, General Re: A Proper Introduction- Zuko & Momo

    I am a huge Avatar fan and I think you did a wonderful job. The only thing I would change is that I don't think Zuko would use the word ...

    Tue Aug 03, 2010 10:14 pm
  • Short Story » Historical Fiction, General Re: Harana (Serenade)

    Loved the story. I only saw one thing I would change: you used the word "guy" once, which isn't in 17Th century vocabulary. Inter sting story and very good characters.

    Tue Aug 03, 2010 10:07 pm
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: temporary title=the elementals

    Good story line, but I caught several structural errors. Try to keep your sentences a little shorter, capitalize your I's, and watch punctuation. Other then that I enjoyed it.

    Tue Aug 03, 2010 9:59 pm
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: Our Room

    Wow. You've got me hooked, you just need to develop the characters.

    Tue Aug 03, 2010 3:37 pm
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: Holding The Sun - chapter 1

    Very interesting. The first part is good, a little rough in places, but good. The second part seems a little slow and wordy, but I'd like to see where you ...

    Tue Aug 03, 2010 3:26 pm


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